Why You Should Do A Background Check Before Online Dating | How TruthFinder Can Be A Helpful Resource For Abuse Victims

March 10th, 2024


Ann Feister

March 10th, 2024

If you’re like most single people, the odds are pretty high that you have been or may be dabbling in online dating. While going to meet a stranger you met on the internet for a date was pretty taboo when online dating first began, it’s commonplace now.

One of the best uses for our TruthFinder people search product is to help you discover whether you could be putting yourself into a dangerous situation with someone who may have a possibly violent or criminal history.

We often receive comments from TruthFinder users who ran confidential background checks on their upcoming dates and found out they were about to go meet someone who had possible DUIs, convictions, bankruptcies, or even possible sexual predator charges. This is why we say that if you’re on dating apps, you should be on TruthFinder too.

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New Love Or A Dangerous Game Of Deception

What was supposed to be a fun new romance could become a dangerous situation if you meet someone with bad intentions. No one is posting their negative character traits on their dating profiles or bragging about past violent criminal offenses while they’re trying to make a good first impression. It can be easy to hide past misdeeds or a criminal history from a new partner.

The kind of lying, hiding, and gaslighting that it takes to deceive a new mate are behaviors that are often associated with narcissistic personality traits. If you’ve ever dated a narcissist, you are probably well aware of how far they’re willing to go to maintain their control over you and most situations.

For one couple, they found out the hard way that dating a narcissist can not only be emotionally and physically damaging but also financially dangerous.

How A Relationship With A Narcissist Can Ruin Your Life

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Before meeting each other and starting their coaching business to guide others out of narcissistic relationships, Melissa and John Rymer were both involved with narcissistic partners. The types of narcissistic abuse that they were encountering were shockingly similar.

Their partners were dishonest about their backgrounds and were able to trick John and Melissa into trusting them. For Melissa, her former partner went so far with his financial abuse that he ended up transferring over the title to her home into his name without her knowledge. By the time she caught wind of what was going on behind her back, it was legally documented that he owned her house!

It cost her countless hours and legal fees to get everything cleared up through the courts. A true horror story of financial abuse at the hands of a narcissist.

John’s former partner was also taking liberties with his finances and racking up huge amounts of debt in his name without his knowledge.

V2W (as they refer to their business) is a guide that shares effective strategies for escaping narcissists. They offer several of their resources for free because they realize that if a narcissist is abusing you, you’re likely financially trapped and can’t access your own money.

The programs and support that Victim to Warrior offers are things that Melissa and John learned while they were healing their own lives from narcissistic abuse. Understanding the mindset of the victims has helped shape their program offerings, which range from free online tips and guidance to personal coaching and even a free MasterClass.

Their online offerings are robust because they know that if a narcissist has got you in their clutches, it’s likely that all areas of your life are affected by their abuse. They offer financial guides, the MasterClass, an e-book, 1-on-1 coaching, a private Facebook support group, and more on their website.

How To Find Love Again After Dating A Narcissist

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One of the things that Victim to Warrior emphasizes is the lack of trust in oneself that occurs when you’ve been abused. “You tend to hide from relationships and even if someone great comes along, you don’t trust your judgment because of trusting the narcissist initially,” says Melissa. “John and I met through mutual friends, which was like a living TruthFinder, so thankfully our friends prescreened us.”

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Prior to finding each other, “We were both rebuilding our lives and starting to date again, luckily I had TruthFinder this time and that helped me be able to avoid bringing another narcissist into my life,” said Melissa. “I used TruthFinder to vet future partners because once I saw what was on my ex’s TruthFinder report, I was shocked! I would have never entertained dating someone with a lengthy criminal past if I’d known to avoid them from the start.”

According to John and Melissa, the connection between personality disorders and criminal behavior has been established in multiple studies. Often a personality disorder can contribute to lower levels of self-control, higher levels of aggression, and substance abuse issues. These factors can lead to a higher likelihood of having past arrests or convictions.

It’s not guaranteed that a narcissist in your life has a checkered criminal background, but several psychology sources suggest that they’re more likely than most to have a history of arrests, violence, and a complicated relationship with money.

Make sure you’re using the tools available to you to help you stay safe and steer clear of narcissists.

Users like John and Melissa represent cautionary tales of trusting the wrong person and having to start your entire life over to repair the damage a narcissist can cause.

Resources For Abuse Victims

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Helping to protect people is one of the most important responsibilities that we have at TruthFinder. We partner with organizations like Victim to Warrior to help share stories and provide information on how TruthFinder can help those researching new people in their lives.

While TruthFinder is a great resource to help you know about someone’s past, if you’re already in a situation where you need protection from an abuser or you know someone who does, please contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 800-799-7233. If you fear that your internet history is being monitored, they recommend calling the hotline instead of visiting the website. They are available 24/7 to help you get help and access resources that are available to survivors of abuse.

The information available on the TruthFinder website may not be 100% accurate, complete, or up to date, so do not use it as a substitute for your own due diligence, especially if you have concerns about a person’s criminal history. TruthFinder does not make any representation or warranty about the accuracy of the information available through its website or about the character or integrity of the person about whom you inquire. For more information, please review TruthFinder’s Terms of Use.

When John and Melissa finally escaped their nightmare relationships, they found each other and bonded over many things, including their desire to help others who were trapped in unhealthy relationships with narcissists too.

While they were rebuilding their lives together, they were also building their coaching website to share information about how narcissists trap, gaslight, and ultimately try to destroy their partners. Their backgrounds in finance and strong determination to prevent what happened to them from happening to others gave life to their venture, Victim to Warrior.


Posted March 10th, 2024 in Stories

Ann Feister

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    Why You Should Do A Background Check Before Online Dating | How TruthFinder Can Be A Helpful Resource For Abuse Victims